When I started this blog, I didn’t want to focus solely on gay issues, but it seems that my first posts do just that. Oh well.
I subscribe to various on-line and Twitter gay news feeds, and I have just read what should have been a remarkable piece on how a 13 year old boy used his Bar Mitzvah speech to call for the right for gay couples to marry in his state of Oregon. And it started out so well; he was obviously a very well adjusted, intelligent young man with clear views and a decent upbringing. However, I got distracted by one point. So much so that I kind of lost the thread of the rest of his speech.
He referred to a male gay couple – close friends of their family – who were married. In fact, they had married three times! Hang on – THREE TIMES? It seems that they had decided that they wanted to marry in different states, and young Duncan McAlpine Sennett, said he was looking forward to attending all their weddings as they marry in all fifty states. Now this is where the detractors and critics can claim the moral high ground. And say bodly, that they were right all along and that gay marriage was making a mockery of the institution. And I’d have to agree.
When you fall in love with someone, one hopes that you’ll eventually marry; in an either simple or lavish ceremony. A wedding is that event where you can declare your undying love for each other and your commitment. It’s a one-off event – isn’t it? Or at least it should be. Deciding that getting married in one state isn’t enough. They want to get married there, and there and there as well. This seemingly total disregard of the sanctity and solemn occasion of such an event typifies why the gay community is often its own worst enemy. You set a date, get married, are married – done. Not set a date, get married, are married – get married again. That’s not how marriage should work. It’s not like a religious holiday where you have to ‘do it’ every year. Okay, if that marriage doesn’t work, you divorce and hopefully meet someone new and maybe re-marry. Or some years later renew your vows.
Technically, as each state legalises gay marriage, their status would be recognised so they would technically be renewing their vows, I guess. But then, even that undermines the reason for doing it if it’s done ‘just because’.
My Opinion: If gay couples want equality and want the right to marry, treat it with the same respect as everyone else. Equality does not mean you get more!